My Farewell Talk

Hey Everyone! I'm leaving for my mission in three days!! I was given the opportunity to give my farewell talk at church today. It was the most spiritual sacrament meeting I have ever been to. Two of my nieces sang I Hope They Call Me On A Mission and it was the cutest thing I have ever seen! Then a trio of men from my ward sang I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go and it almost brought me to tears. Then I gave my talk: here's a copy of it :)

Good afternoon brothers and sisters. I wasn’t given a topic to talk on so I decided to base my talk on Elder Rasband’s talk The Divine Call of a Missionary from the April 2010 conference, but to start off I’d like to talk about what made me decide to go on a mission. Growing up I never really wanted to go. It was not part of my plan. I always thought that if I was not married and 21 then I would think about going. Well I am not married but I’m also not 21. Last October, the President of the Church made an announcement that changed the current age young adults could go on missions. At the time, I was sitting in a room full of 19 year old girls. During this announcement, the mission age for girls was changed from 21 to 19. Needless to say everyone in the room was shocked to find out that instead of waiting another two years we could all go on missions starting at that moment. And now two of us have responded to that call to serve. I knew that I should go on a mission right when the prophet made that announcement, but I was in denial until mid-February of this year. I didn’t want to deal with trying to sell my contract for winter semester and I was still fighting the feeling of needing to go. I kept telling myself that God didn’t really need me to go and that it would be perfectly okay if I just stayed and continued going to school. But I couldn’t ignore the feeling in my heart that a mission was in my future. My ultimate deciding factor actually wasn’t that spiritual at all. My first semester up at school I felt like I was living a dream. I had the perfect life. I always had something to do on the weekend and most week nights. I had a ton of friends and we always hung out together and stayed up late. We constantly complained about how tried we were during class but then stayed up late that night as well. I had the life of a sleep deprived college student from the movies and I still love all the friends I had dearly. However, much like most BYU freshman girls, all of my guy friends went on missions starting in the middle of freshman year and by sophomore year they were all gone. Once all the boys left, I found that all the girls didn’t want to hang out as much. Last year up at school was not the best year for me. I constantly found myself alone in my apartment watching a movie or doing homework on the weekend when my roommates went out with their friends. On nights when I couldn’t take being at my apartment anymore, I ran to my older sisters house so that her family could give me comfort as I felt more and more alone. My nieces always made me feel loved and it was nice to get out of an apartment every once and a while. As my social life failed to get better, I couldn’t help but think maybe I should go on a mission, at least it was a change and when I came back all the boys would be back and hopefully my life would pick back up. Right around mid-February, I was skyping with one of my best friends, who not a member of the church, complaining about life. Then we started talking about the mission age change. I was telling her that I was thinking about it but it was also a really scary thing to do and I didn’t really know if I wanted to leave everything behind for a year and a half. She told me that she thought it would be a really good experience and that I should go and that she would go if she was a member. She just kind of said this as a passing statement then the subject happen to change. But later that night is when I actually thought to myself maybe I should go if my friend whose not even a member of my religion thinks it will be a good growing experience. As soon as that thought went through my mind, I felt an intense feeling of peace fill my body and I knew from that moment on that I could no longer deny that I needed to go on a mission. It still took me three months to actually get up the courage to start my papers but I finally did it and now I couldn’t be more thrilled.

When I talk about my mission call with people, they are usually astonished to know that I had no idea where I was going to go until I opened my call. Most of them think it is absurd that I don’t even get to send in a list of my top five places. When I submitted my papers, I knew that wherever God needed me is where I would go. And where ever that happened to be, I would be overjoyed to serve there. In Elder Rasband’s talk he says

In June of 1837, the Prophet Joseph Smith called Heber C. Kimball, an Apostle, to go on a mission to England. Elder Kimball’s call came as the two sat in the Kirtland Temple and Joseph spoke with divine authority: “Brother Heber, the Spirit of the Lord has whispered to me, ‘Let my servant Heber go to England and proclaim my gospel and open the door of salvation to that nation.’” That whispering of the Spirit is an example of how the call comes to servants of the Lord to send missionaries to their fields of labor.

Much like Brother Kimball’s call, I believe mine was divinely inspired. Elder Rasband goes on to talk about exactly how missionaries are called. He was able to observed President Eyring assigning missionaries to their specific missions.

First, we knelt together in prayer. I remember Elder Eyring using very sincere words, asking the Lord to bless him to know “perfectly” where the missionaries should be assigned.

As the process began, a picture of the missionary to be assigned would come up on one of the computer screens. As each picture appeared, to me it was as if the missionary were in the room with us. Elder Eyring would then greet the missionary with his kind and endearing voice: “Good morning, Elder Reier or Sister Yang. How are you today?”

He told me that in his own mind he liked to think of where the missionaries would conclude their mission. This would aid him to know where they were to be assigned. Elder Eyring would then study the comments from the bishops and stake presidents, medical notes, and other issues relating to each missionary.

He then referred to another screen which displayed areas and missions across the world. Finally, as he was prompted by the Spirit, he would assign the missionary to his or her field of labor.

Later in his talk, Brother Rasband recalls when President Eyring asks him where a particular missionary should go. At first, Brother Rasband had no idea and President Eyring told him if he paid close attention that he too could know. So that is exactly what Brother Rasband did.

As we were nearing the completion of that assignment meeting, a picture of a certain missionary appeared on the screen. I had the strongest prompting, the strongest of the morning, that the missionary we had before us was to be assigned to Japan. I did not know that Elder Eyring was going to ask me on this one, but amazingly he did. I rather tentatively and humbly said to him, “Japan?” Elder Eyring responded immediately, “Yes, let’s go there.” And up on the computer screen the missions of Japan appeared. I instantly knew that the missionary was to go to the Japan Sapporo Mission.

Elder Eyring did not ask me the exact name of the mission, but he did assign that missionary to the Japan Sapporo Mission.

I know that this is exactly how my mission call was assigned and I couldn’t be happier about going to Korea. Elder Rasband states

…by their great love of the Savior, His servants know where these wonderful young men and women, senior missionaries, and senior couple missionaries are to serve…every missionary called in this Church, and assigned or reassigned to a particular mission, is called by revelation from the Lord God Almighty through one of these, His servants.

I know that my call to Korea was divinely inspired and I am going there for a reason and I am so excited to find out what that reason is.

I, also, believe that the Lord has been preparing me for my mission for the past two year. When I first got out of high school, I still relied heavily upon my parents. I hated doing things for myself. I even had an irrational fear of calling the pizza man. I didn’t adjust very well to the whole independent thing. However, my experiences in 2012 made me become independent very fast. As many of you know, I faced many emotional and physical trials starting in February 2012. These trials left me more depressed than I have ever felt in my life. Through these extremely tough times, I leaned very heavily on my bishop’s shoulder. My bishop freshman year is still one of my best friends and is a huge example to me. He really took me by the hand and led me through the trials and tried to help me keep my head up. He would text and call me all the time to see how I was holding up. Even when I didn’t answer his calls, he would give a conference talk to one of my roommates to have me read. Sometimes I felt like he wouldn’t just leave me alone. But regardless he saved my life is more ways than one and I don’t know what I would do without him. A turning point in my mood that year was being given the opportunity to go up to Salt Lake to attend General Conference in April. This Conference session gave me extreme comfort, especially President Eyring’s talk about trials and how to face them. And as time went on, I started to feel better and better, with my bishop’s help, and I finally thought my trials were winding down, until I woke up one morning and the left side of my body was slightly numb. A few weeks later I was hospitalized and, as many of you know, diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. This diagnosis was really a turning point in my life and forced me to become independent. I, all of the sudden, had to call doctors, refill prescriptions, and talk to all different kinds of people that I didn’t know over the phone which I hated doing before. I still get multiple phone from doctor and support groups. Being diagnosed with MS has caused me to mature in more ways that I can count. On top of scheduling doctor’s appointments and taking medication every day, I had to deal with and be ready for a relapse at any time and I had to keep my head on straight and keep living life through all of it. Now that the shock of having a life time disease is over, I wouldn’t give it up for anything. I know it has made me grow emotionally and spiritually in remarkable ways. I have learned that I can deal with hard circumstances and I have developed a closer relationship with my Father in Heaven because of it.

When I was in the middle of these months of despair, I found comfort in two specific songs that I listened to every night and have now become some of my favorite hymns.  I remember one night the pain of the trials God decided to burden me with was almost too much to bear. So with tears in my eyes, I grabbed my phone and went on YouTube. I typed “Mormon hymns” into search and “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing” was one of the first songs to pop up. I quickly pressed play, curled up in my bed, closed my eyes and concentrated on the words. One specific part of the song really stuck out to me. It says:

Jesus sought me when a stranger
Wandering from the fold of God
He to rescue me from danger
Interposed His precious blood

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Heres my heart, oh, take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above

I knew that at the time I was wandering from God, even though he was one of the only one who could actually comfort me. I also listened to “How Great Thou Art” and the part that has always stuck out to me in the song reads:

And when I think, that God, his Son not sparing

Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in.

That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing

He bled and died to take away my sin.

These songs are one of the few things that got me through those months sane. I am so thankful for my Savoir and everything that he has ever done for me. I know now that I am never alone in my trials and that he always knows what I’m going through because I have felt his touch on my life in my time of need. Every time I hear either of those songs I am brought almost to tears because I can feel My Father and Savior’s love for me. I remember countless nights listening to those songs and being able to almost feel my Savior’s arms around me. Alma 7:11 reads:

And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

I know that my Savior knows exactly what I am going through regardless of the trial placed upon me. Doctrine and Covenants 121:7-8 reads:

My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.

My trials have made me stronger and I am truly grateful for all of them because they have shaped me into the person I am today. I know all of the trials placed in my life, especially during 2012, were to strengthen me so that I would more easily respond to the Lord’s call to serve.

When I put in my papers, I was convinced that I was going to go stateside because of my medical history. But I feel like I am living proof that God doesn’t always let you take the easy road. My mom has gone through many stressful nights trying to figure out how I am going to get my medication into Korea and what kind of insurance coverage is best to have if I do happen to have a relapse while I am away. It would have been a lot easier on my family if I was being sent inside the states but as one of my sisters said to me once “God must really need you in Korea if he’s going to make us go through this much work to get you there.” But even though it has been stressful, no one in my family has ever questioned where I am going or why it is so far away. I am so thankful to see how they all put their trust in God and they all accept that he needs me across the Pacific. And I truly do believe that he needs me there and my life will be better because of it.

A few weeks ago, as my time to leave got closer and closer, I began to get more and more scared. I became jealous of the missionaries who were called stateside because they didn’t have to go through as much culture shock or have to deal with a 15 hour time change and definitely didn’t have to deal with not even being able to read what they were buying at the grocery store. I became extremely nervous and started doubting if I really should go. Many people tell you that Satan will up his tactics once you’re on the right path in order to try to get you to deviate from it and let me tell you, it’s a million times worse after you get your mission call. I had so many doubts and fears and other things that were thrown into my path. I believe that the adversary really does know each of us better than we know ourselves and knows how to get under your skin. One example of this is I was able to go to Stagecoach in April with one of my best friends. While we were there, we decided that my favorite country artist who was there in 2012 would probably come back the year after I get back and everything would be perfect because I could go and see him perform. Well, the line up for stagecoach 2014 just came out and that artist is headlining at it. I remember when I saw this, the first thing I thought was “Wow, Satan really does know how to hit you where it hurts.”

This last week was when I had my most doubts about going on a mission. I didn’t think I was ready and I was scared to leave my family and learn a new language along with all the other changes I’d be going though. I emailed one of my friends who’s in New York on his mission right now and he wrote me one of the most encouraging emails I have ever gotten. He said:

“I understand your fears, I had them all at one point. Still do sometimes. It's a scary thing you're about to do. And a brave thing. And when you do it, you'll be so proud of yourself. And you'll be so happy you did it. And even though it's scary and it's going to be hard, you're going to love it. Maybe not every minute of it, I won't lie to you about that. You'll have some pretty horrible times. But for the most part, you will have the time of your life...They'll give you a trainer when you first get there. And her job will be to love and help you. And she will do both of those things. And if you're ever freaking out about something, just tell her. And she'll be like that's chill, let's calm down for a moment and take a break. Those are the best. 

Korea is definitely not a third world country. They are doing very well for themselves. You'll be fine out there. Culture shock will throw you for a moment, but you'll get used to it. I got used to it out here, you can make it in Korea. Granted, yours will be a bit more shocking than mine. But it's not so bad. Just embrace it.

When it comes down to it, you will be okay. Everything will be okay. It may suck at times, but it won't last forever. You'll get used to everything and you'll make it. And you'll be happy too. Every missionary goes through this, don't worry. Just remember that you're only a human. You don't have to do everything. And you don't have to be perfect. That's why we go on missions, so we can learn and grow. You're still Stacy Collyer, regardless of what people call you. And don't forget that. Just be yourself and enjoy the world, you'll make it in the end. “

I know that his words ring true. I am so excited to go serve the people of South Korea. I know The Lord will bless me and my family for it. I will have hard times, there’s no doubt in my mind about that but everything will be worth it in the end. In Elder Rasband’s talk he states:

To John and Peter Whitmer Jr. the Lord said this: “For many times you have desired of me to know that which would be of the most worth unto you.”

Here is the Lord’s answer: “And now, behold, I say unto you, that the thing which will be of the most worth unto you will be to declare repentance unto this people, that you may bring souls unto me, that you may rest with them in the kingdom of my Father.”

I know that going on a mission is exactly what I am supposed to be doing right now in my life. I am overjoyed to be able to bring souls unto Christ so that they can feel the joy that this gospel brings into my life.

I would like to end with a poem that I stumbled upon written by a missionary in the Texas Houston mission about mission life.

The Alarm bell rings at 6:30, I stumble to my feet

I grab my companions bedding and pull off his sheets

A groan fills the room, is it already time to rise?

It seems like just a second ago I was able to shut my eyes.
The morning activities follow- study, prayer and such
when it’s time to leave the apartment, you feel you haven’t accomplished much

“We have a super day planned,”
My comp. says with a grin
I lowly utter a faithless breath,
“Yeah, if anyone lets us in.”

With the word of God and my faithful Schwinn, we ride off in the street Prepared to face another day of humidity and heat
It’s 9:30 in the evening, the day is almost through
My companion and I are riding home not accomplishing what we thought to do

We ride up to the mailbox, hoping to receive a lot
Only to look inside and hear my echo reverberate “air Box”
We go up to our apartment, the day is now complete
The only thing to show for our work is a case of blistery feet

It’s past 10:30 p.m. My companion is fast asleep,
Silence engulfs me all about and I begin to weep
In the midst of sadness, I kneel down to pray
I need to talk to father, but I’m not sure what to say

“Oh, Father” I begin, “What happened to us today?
I thought we’d teach somebody, but everyone was away
My hands, my aching hands- worn, hurt and beat;
If our area was any smaller, we’d have knocked every street”

“Why on missions are the days so much alike?
The only difference about today was the flat tire on my bike
Will you send some cooler weather? The heat is killing me
I sweat so bad, it gets in my eyes, it’s very hard to see”

“Why do I have to wear a helmet, isn’t your protection enough?
People always laugh at me, and call me stupid stuff
Please send us investigators so I may give them what they lack
I want to give them Books of Mormon, the weight of them hurts my back”

“And what about my family: They don’t have much to say
I’m sick of not hearing from home day after day after day
Oh Father, Why am I here am I just wasting time?
Sometimes I just want to go home, I’m sorry but that’s on my mind”

“My companion, Heavenly Father, what are you giving me?”
The way he rides his bicycle, I don’t think he can see
Now you have it, I can’t go on, I don’t know what to do
That, my Father in Heaven, is the prayer I have for you”

My prayer now finished, I stand up, then jump right into bed
I need my rest for tomorrow, we have another long day ahead
Sleep start to overtake me, I seem to drift away
Then it seems a vision takes me to another time in another day

I’m standing alone on the hill. The view is very nice
A man walks towards me and says, “My name is Jesus Christ”
Tears of joy well up inside, I fall down to His feet
“Arise,” He states, “Follow me to the shade. You and I need to speak”

My attention’s towards my Savior, total and complete
He says, “Your mission is similar of what happened to me
I understand how you feel, I know what you’re going through
In fact, it would be fair to say I’ve felt the same as you”

“I even know how you felt when no one listened to you
At times I felt not quite sure what else I could do
I know you don’t like to ride a bicycle, for you a car would be sweet
Just remember the donkey I rode wasn’t equipped with 21 speeds”

“I understand you don’t like sweating, in fact it’s something you hate
I remember when I sweat blood from ev’ry pore, oh the agony was great!
I see you don’t like your companion- you’d rather have someone else-
I once had a companion named Judas who sold my life for wealth”

“It’s hard to wear a helmet and have people make fun of you
I remember when they put thorns on my head and called me King of the Jews
So you feel burdened down by the weight of your pack
I recall how heavy the cross was when they slammed it on my back”

“Your hands hurt from tracting and knocking on doors all day
I guess when they pounded nails into mine, I ached in a similar way
It’s hard not to hear from home when your family’s not there to see
I lost communication on the cross and cried, “Father, why hast Thou forsaken me?”

“We have a lot in common, but there’s a difference between us you see
I endured to the end and finished my mission, so follow and do like me”
He embraced me with His arms and His light filled me with His love
With tears in my eyes I watched as He went back to the Father above

I stood with awe and wonder when a beep rang in my head
I listened and heard the alarm, then realized I was in my bed
My companion let out a groan, “6:30 already, no way!”
I sat up and said, “Come on, I’ll even carry your scriptures today!”

No matter what we go through,
when we feel we can’t take more
Just stop and think about Jesus Christ,
He’s been there before”

I know that a mission will be one of the hardest thing that I will ever do but I also know that it is going to be one of the most rewarding. I am so excited to go serve my God for a year and a half. Elder Rasband puts missionary work in a very simple way:

Missionary work is the lifeblood of the Church and the lifesaving blessing to all who accept its message.

I feel extremely blessed to be able to bring these lifesaving blessings to the people of Korea and I know going on a mission will bless my life as well. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.